I’m not the dumbest guy in the world but I certainly felt like it when Tris and I decided to go visit the local historic castle in Villac, Austria.
The road up there was incredibly steep, so being the lazy arses we are, we road up on our bikes. To be even mre lazy, we skipped all the sensible flat parking bays further from the castle, and road straight to the parking directly at the entrance. The problem we faced was the angle of the road and parking bays was quite steep.
Tris made a first attempt to park and almost took out an old lady. While he corrected himself, I managed to successfully face up hill and then reverse my bike into the parking bay. I was quite chuffed with myself… I made it look easy.
The problem I next faced was getting my bike on my stand. The stand was on the uphill side and when I extended it my bike was completely upright. I decided to test if it was balanced by taking my right foot off the ground.
I started to fall down hill to the right.
No worries, I thought, I’ll just put my foot down again. But by now it was too late. The weight of my fully laden bike was too much and my foot was slipping. For several seconds I managed to stop Donkey from slamming into the ground but she kept on falling further over, and I couldn’t hold the weight on my one precariously placed foot. Eventually I just had to let go and she hit the ground while I went flying into the red car next to me.
My time at the gym wasn’t enough. I struggled to get Donkey even a few inches up off the ground, and still faced the issues of some simple maths; angles, weight, and me.
A man who sensibly parked further down the hill passed and immediately jumped to help. Tris, after sensibly parking at the flatter bit further up, eventually came back down and put his shoulder into it as well. After a short while all three of us managed to get Donkey upright and held her there long enough for me to get back on her and started (she flooded).
I parked further up, and we settled down to enjoy the amazing view at the cafÃ© inside the castle walls, ordering a well earned coca-cola to settle the nerves.